Archive for August, 2005

Catalogue of Ills

I have been sick.

Really sick.

Well, okay, maybe I exaggerate just a TEENY bit.  It’s not like I was in the hospital or something.  And it’s not like my five dear readers expect more than two posts a month from me (yah, there is a REASON other people’s blogs are hugely popular, because there is actually something to read every other day.  Also because they are very funny and have great writing.  Grammatical, even).  Remember that cold I mentioned in a previous post?  Well I don’t know if it was the Night Swimming that exacerbated the situation but that cold decided to turn into a full blown flu, with hacking cough and coloured mucus and everything.

Hey, don’t say I never grossed you out.

Anyway, in addition to an unbelievable bout of Darwinian superflu, which laid me low for TWO ENTIRE WEEKS (I cannot understand this because I never used to get sick in this way — alas I am no longer 25), I experienced the following fun maladies:

  • chest cough
  • sinus infection
  • pink eye
  • gastro-intestinal upheaval

I was FALLING APART PEOPLE.  I don’t know HOW I could have contracted so many illnesses at one time AND during the shimmering inferno that is Washington DC in the late summer.

I mean, it couldn’t have anything to do with drinking too much gin and staying up too late and smoking way too many fags, now could it?


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The other day, I wrote to the Commandant that I would love to get a teaching job but I can’t just quit and do that full time at the moment because of my mortgage and bills, etc.  I asked him what teachers make in the UK, wondering if, in some alternate (read: just) universe I lived in England and were a teacher, I could get by with the same lifestyle I lead here on the salaries they make.

He replied this morning, and after initially telling me I could probably do it, suddenly changed his mind. 

Commandant’s email:

OK, I take the above back. There is no way you could cope.

HT’s weekly necessities:

Condo fees
Assorted Chanel beauty products
Gallons of good quality gin
The finest foods available to humanity
Trips to far flung glamorous destinations to meet her international friends.

You are screwed.

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Hit the Roof

I’m sitting at the roof bar, working on a freelance editing project. All the ideas I had for previous posts are gone right out of my head. The night is—uncharacteristically—balmy, and Bartender Dude is supplying the drinks. I’ve generated a lot of interest with my cute little Mac, which is open and luminous on the dark roof deck. Everyone is asking me if I’m writing a paper.

I am, kind of. I’m extensively rewriting the paper of professor I know on conflict resolution for a grant he’s hoping to get. My job is to rip out all the bad writing, like weeding a garden, and reorder his words to more accurately reflect what he really means. It’s very satisfying.

Speaking of jobs, I’m hating my day job right now, which always happens when I go away on holiday, even if it is only for a long weekend. I just did this, traveled down to Lynchburg, VA to witness my youngest brother’s wedding. It was, by turns, tacky and exhilarating, as most family functions are. My youngest brother is very young, and the woman he married is younger still (she’s 21). As such, we were treated to written (non prayer-book) vows, traditional wedding-attendant attire (i.e., long gowns before 6 pm), and a boozeless, non-airconditioned reception. Additionally, Jane (aka, Sack of Sugar) is teething, so she was one miserable cookie, though she—blessedly—didn’t cry during the picture taking, can you believe it.

In other news, I just bought a new phone and switched my service over to Cingular proper (I had been an AT&T customer). FINALLY. TDMA technology SUCKS, as do roaming charges to the tune of $300/month. Cingular is a good service. And I’m drunk on the technological abilities of my new phone and its attendant Bluetooth-enabled wireless headset. I’m learning all about it. I am such a geek. I am haunted by the prospect that all the technology I own (Mac laptop, DSL connection, printer, GSM-enabled phone, wireless headset) is woefully under-used due to my own ignorance.

But who has the time to read all the user manuals? Or to discover what fabulous crafty printing projects one could achieve if one knew the capabilities of one’s printer and owned all the relevant materials?

Must get a new job, one that provides the space and time to segueway into teaching positions and make money doing more freelance work and learn about all the fun tech-ey stuff you can do with a powerful computer and an Internet connection.

I just did a shot. I must go home and go to sleep. Goodnight everyone!

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