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Archive for May, 2007

When I am on my way to work, I do not like stoppages or
cessation of movement of any kind. People who stand on the escalators when they should walk, waiting at
stoplights for the left-turn lane to empty its contents across my path, just
missing a train and having to wait four more minutes for another one – these
are the things that send my pulse (and my feelings of fury!) through the roof
even though they only constitute differences of minutes in terms of my ultimate
arrival. I am notoriously late and I am
always rushing to get in on time, no matter how good the intentions. I hate and despise being late but I hate and
despise getting up even more.

I have come to realize that for me time balloons in the
morning when I am lying in bed hitting the snooze button but collapses shortly
thereafter when I step out the door to begin my commute. 

This morning I had to be in for a 9 am meeting, that I was
leading, and for which people were COMING TO MY OFFICE. It was vitally important to the small part of
me that still cares about saving face (Dance on the bar? Sure! Draw attention
to myself at parties? I’M YOUR MAN. But
show up in a harried panic to my office where a coterie of bright-eyed and
bushy-tailed morning risers is waiting for me, coffee in hand, exchanging looks?
No. Fucking. Way. Dude.) that I arrive in enough time to take off my coat, get
some water, and turn on my computer.

So do you think that happened this morning? DO YOU?

Well if you did you would be wrong dear readers.

The dialogue in my head before stepping out the door this
morning at 8:26 am went something like this (keep in mind the original plan was
to leave at 8 to be in by 8:30):

7:30 am – If I don’t take a shower I can sleep for another 10
minutes. I can leave at 8:05 and it will
be fine. 

7:40 am – [snooze]

7:50 am – Must. Sleep. Longer. As long as I leave by 8:15 I will be
fine. I’ll get in at 8:45, and really, 15
minutes is enough time to get settled in.

8:00 am – Oh lord I really have to get up. I guess I can leave at 8:20. 8:20 will be fine. 

8:05 am – I mean 8:25. As long as I am in BEFORE 9 am. Getting in at 8:55 will work. Yeah.

Needless to say, I arrived at 8:55 am and guess what? GUESS WHAT? The bright-eyed bushy-tailed folks were EARLY (these fucking people I swear
to God) and waiting at my door. WAITING
AT THE DOOR! Who shows up to a meeting
EARLY?

I hate morning people.

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